1.11 The Pageant

        Zara's eyes scanned the auditorium as best she could without looking around.... Her pulse pounded hard as she caught sight of Nolan, lost control, turned to stare just as he turned to look. Her eyes darted down, too late, he saw her gawking, her face felt hot, tears began to well in her eyes, she felt like such a stupid idiot...

        Like a roll of thunder, the roll of the drum gradually filled the auditorium with increasing intensity until with heart stopping velocity, the drumming came to a rolling halt. Zara smoothed her dress, stood tall and stiffened accordingly as the house lights turned off and the magical moment began to unfold before her. The students had been preparing for the Pageant ever since they could remember. This was what sixteen years of hard work at Culloom was all for: Placement.

         They had all been preparing for Placement except for one. Daring now that the lights were down, Zara turned to glance down the row of students behind her to check on her friend. Zoran was sporting a red Lei and easy to pick out in the dark auditorium because of it, his courage was outstanding, yet he looked so sad today, fear was apparent in his face, the shiny streaks on his cheek, glistening in the dim stage lights gave it away.

         Zoran felt her gaze and turned towards her, flashing a labored smile.

         Zara felt her throat tighten, her body stiffen, suddenly reminded of her performance. Quickly she returned attention to the stage as the lights came on, trying not to think about the Graduation Offering thing but secretly, she felt afraid for Zoran... Where was he really going? Would it hurt?

        Trying not to fidget or let untamed thoughts distract her, Zara focused on the performances on stage, now beginning to unfold, one graduate after another, one drum roll after another... 
         Now Zara was at the front of the line, her moment had arrived. Carefully, she adjusted her crown, took a deep breath, pictured a thin golden string pulling up her head and stepped bravely towards her future. With a racing pulse and a deep breath she climbed the stage stairs, one by one, following the red carpet to the X marked on the floor.

         'This is it' she reminded herself as the spotlight found her at last. But as she faced the audience she was blinded by the brilliant lights, she couldn’t see a thing, her entire being was filled with the emotions of the climactic event as the drums made a roll and beat to a halt. As she saluted the gods of whom she couldn’t even see, she understood why they had rehearsed this thing so many times. She could feel Hedena's eyes upon her even if she couldn't see her, she wanted nothing more than to make Hedena proud. Hedena had been her guide, her mentor, her hero, she felt special to have grown up in Hedena's famous school.

         Once again she visualized the string pulling her head up, higher. Dressed in black, a prefect stepped up onto the stage. He measured her body, smelled her skin, plucked a strand of her hair and inspected her eyes, noting the measurements and imperfections with quick notes on a clay tablet.

         Zara held her breath as he inspected her back… Panicked thoughts suddenly struck out of nowhere, was he actually counting the scars?

         Moments later he stepped off the stage and the drums began again, this time in a steady dance beat. On cue, Zara bowed slowly and began her well rehearsed dance routine, feeling already like she had failed somehow.

         The drummers stopped, signalling for Zara's dance to end. Zara bowed to the gods she couldn't see and the prefect led her off stage, showing her into the green room down the hall.

         The green room was like an estrogen party, apparently the females had been separated from the males. All around the room graduates were grouped together, giggling and gossiping, each one of them secretly relieved that their performances were finally over. 

        Zara took a glass of orange bubbly from the bar and sat down on the couch, numbed by the feeling of relief as it washed over her. She could have done better, her dance was awkward, ruefully she reflected on her moment in the spotlight. She knew she had done well on her academic exams, that part would surely save her from any dead end placements... Once again her thoughts drifted to Zoran... She couldn't help listening to the girls bantering over her thoughts...

         "Fina? So cool! I heard that they give you, like, a full closet of new clothes when you get there!"

         "Oh. My. God, I heard that too, I also heard the merchants are super hot! They're all, like, going places, they have parties all the time, we're going to have a total life!"

        "If you get to go!"

         "Oh I hope I get to go!"

         "Me too. I heard they dance at clubs all night, that if you get with the right merchants you can even travel the empire!"

         The banter paused as Mata got up from the other side of the room, on her way to the catering table. Zara could see them without turning her head, too. She could see the eyes following Mata, scrutinizing her every step, then the banter picked up again, however the tone had changed... Giggles.... More giggles... 

         "Oh. My. God. Some of us don't stand a chance, it'll be nice to be filtered from the heap."

         "I feel sorry for her..."

         "Ew! She's so-oooo ugly."

        "Smells just as ugly!"

        "Ha-haaaa! 'Smells ugly'!"

         Zara could hear them, surely Mata could too?

         "Oh. My. God. Did you see her dance? She's, like, so awkward!"

         "What's the point in even teaching someone like that to dance?"

         "She's so plain, no one even noticed her on stage!"

         "Ha-haaa!"

         "Ha-haaa! She totally failed her academic exams too. They'll probably put her in the Farmer's Program."

         "Well at least she won't have to worry about being put into a Breeding Program! Ha-haaaa!"

        "Too true, that!"

         "Ha-haaa! Truth!"

        Suddenly Zara knew what it was that Mata was secretly dealing with... She had dealt with this sort of thing too...

         "Oh. My. God. Did you hear about the dogons at the farm? They're like, so bad! I heard the farmers get attacked pretty well every day!"

         "Oh. My. God. Are you serious?"

         Zara closed her eyes, praying silently, not just for Mata.